Clinical psychologist London W1

Why... therapy

The benefits of therapy start with having the chance to feel happier on average than 80% of people who feel like you do now but don't get therapy. Then there's the effect that feeling happier could have on your life. Physically, happier people tend to have stronger immune systems, be healthier, have less disability in old age, and live longer. Mentally, happier people tend to be more creative and open to new ideas. At work, happier people tend to perform better, get better evaluations from supervisors, and get higher pay. With other people, happier people tend to have better relationships which last longer. When bad things happen, happier people are more resilient.

Some people may acknowledge these benefits, but can't overcome their distaste for therapy as "self-indulgent navel-gazing". Of course therapy, like any outer journey, can be self-indulgent if it never ends and has no purpose apart from idle curiosity. But good therapy is time-limited, goal-directed, and the opposite of self-indulgent, because it asks you to face the truth about yourself and your world. As for the idea that therapy is navel-gazing, it is about your relationship with others and with the world as much as your relationship with yourself. Therapy is less selfish than most forms of self-empowerment, because it allows you to relate better to others and so become more valuable to them. It can also make you happier, and happier people are more empathic, altruistic and willing to share.

Nowadays, going to a therapist should be as normal as going to any other specialist professional: Problem with your body? Go to a health professional. Problem with your mind? Go to a therapist. In Britain many people do just that: 23% said that they had received some treatment for an emotional problem in the previous 18 months, according to the Office of National Statistics. Getting therapy makes sense: mental pain is as real as any other pain, so it's as appropriate to get therapy for your low mood as treatment for your lower back. Therapy is effective: as effective for emotional distress as bypass surgery is for angina, or drugs are for arthritis. Getting therapy is important, since the consequences of emotional problems for health, relationships and work can be disastrous: a World Health Organisation survey found that Depression on its own was the world's fourth most burdensome health problem in terms of its social cost. And like other problems, emotional problems are cheaper to solve the sooner you start.

Yet some people still avoid going to therapy. Here are some reasons I've heard, and my answers to them:

Our ancestors got by without it	They often didn't get by, and they invented therapy along with medicine and sanitation so they no longer had to
I should be able to solve my emotional problems without help	You wouldn't expect to solve all your other problems without coaching, education or talking to a specialist
Asking for help is a sign of weakness	Asking for help shows courage and with help we get stronger
Family and friends will despise me for going to therapy	They'll probably like you more if you are stronger and happier. They may want you to go to therapy or respect your courage for going
The therapist will think I and my problems aren't worth helping and will despise me	If your problems hurt, you're worth helping, and therapists are trained to be non-judgemental
Talking about my problems will be too embarrassing	You've probably survived talking to your doctor or your friends about embarrassing things before
If I go to therapy I won't know what will happen next and I could lose control of my life	In therapy you get to plan what will happen next and take control of your life

The financial cost of therapy with me is about £2400, unless you have insurance, for enough sessions to have a long-term effect on most problems. That's about the same as a two week holiday in Paris for one, a treat whose effects will wear off, like most treats, in a week. Then there is the cost of time spent in and getting to therapy. Unless you have an understanding employer, get therapy outside working hours or make up the time at work.

If you are considering therapy, you may like to ask yourself what would be a well-lived life for you. Do you aspire to more than fulfilling your role and achieving the goals set out for you? Many people value gaining understanding about themselves and their world for its own sake. They want to know who they are, what their potential is, where they stand, why they're here, and how to get to where they want to go. Before they die they want to have examined their life to make it more worth living. They value developing as human beings. For them, therapy is one of the best routes humanity has found to the heights of human experience.

Contactable at: +44(0)7971 597331, or at info@jeremyslaughter.com